The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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