Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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