Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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