I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize