I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Randomize
