she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
