thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
