It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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