Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
We had to coat check the pizza.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
