Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
