Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
