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• (530): View more from California

  How is Miami?

  (954): View more from Florida

  Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?

  Fav 6 3829 1009

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  You're the best girlfriend ever.

  Fav 145 41239 2024

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point

  Fav 40 2255 7569

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.

  Fav 7 3669 1392

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits

  Fav 15 1227 4283

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.

  Fav 8 904 891

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• (660): View more from Missouri

  The feeling are messing with the penis

  Fav 3 584 942

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?

  Fav 5 363 689

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  It was a blind-side dick pic.

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• (916): View more from California

  Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.

  Fav 3 286 141

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