i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
