If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
