I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
