I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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