Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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