My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
