Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
