Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
