he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
