Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
