He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
The Olympian is in my bed
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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