in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
