Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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