that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
