this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
