I am spending my child support on dildos
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
My pussy is not your playground.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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