i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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