..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Your cock deserves a montage
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
