i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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