i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
