i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
