Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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