it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
