dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
