Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Randomize
