I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
No subtext here. People are naked.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
