i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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