No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize
