i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
