I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
