there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize