Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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