and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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