You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He better not be in your backpack
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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