Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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