DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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