i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
