wake up i wanna do it froggy style
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
