WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
