just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
How drunk are you?
Completed.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
