No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
