my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
