Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize