Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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