im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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